Today’s post is going to be a reflection on a quote from Tom Hiddleston. Not just because he’s my favorite actor – we all knew this already. But because, talented and attractive as he is, he’s also incredibly wise.
Quote in point:
““Never, ever, let anyone tell you what you can and can’t do. Prove the cynics wrong. Pity them for they have no imagination. The sky’s the limit. Your sky. Your limit.”
― Tom Hiddleston
I’m not sure what it was this morning that took me back to my college classrooms for a moment. Maybe it was the gorgeous, cloudless sky, or the hint of fall in the air that I haven’t quite stopped associating with endless readings and group projects. Whatever reason, I paused for a moment in the middle of primping for work and realized that I am incredibly lucky to be working in a field I had dreamed of being in, with coworkers who I can count as friends and family and loved ones who support me wholeheartedly. On a daily basis I correspond with people in at least three different countries (as a result of which I am learning Swedish and German), help independent filmmakers perfect their projects, and support some of the greatest songwriters to have ever contributed to the music industry.
I’m pretty damn lucky, and I love (almost) every second of it.
Yet if I had listened to my teachers, to my classmates, to my friends, I would have never achieved this.
I remember sitting in one of my honors leadership classes, where almost all my peers were going into teaching, social work, politics, philanthropy, charity work, Christian outreach, or something along those lines. At a college where the majority of students were involved in music and the music industry in some way, it was one of the few classes in which I was the minority degree seeker, which was often refreshing. As immersive as the music and film industries can be, it was helpful to have alternate perspectives to bring issues and discussions to my attention, especially in fields that I otherwise didn’t explore on a daily basis.
But there was a downside to this, as well: my passion, music and film, was often treated with derision and became the butt of many jokes. You would never want to be “like the music business majors.” We were self-centered (benefit concerts, anyone?), didn’t want to get our hands dirty with the problems of the world (never mind the rich history of protest music and the wave of pro-gay marriage support in modern music), and none of us were going to get real jobs, just leach off unemployment when we graduated because the industry was in tatters (forgetting about the innovation and new perspectives that fresh blood faced with tough challenges brings to a stagnant industry). Music business wasn’t worthy of being considered something that leadership would excel in, it was all for profits, and there were no redeeming qualities that would attract anyone who really wanted to make a difference in the world. Because, you know, all those people who went into politics and are supporting a divided, deadlocked Congress are really helping to make major strides for the American people.
I get it: in terms of measurable difference, me hitting send on a few song approvals is much harder to quantify than joining the Peace Corps (which I don’t qualify for – I looked when I was unemployed), flying to a third world country, and digging wells. [By no means is this meant to devalue that work, as it is sorely needed.] But what I do, though it often feels more like business, is a support role in the making of art. A lot of it is a money-making venture – I am not referring to Wipe Out as an art form. We’re a business, and our first job is to represent the interests of our writers, which means helping them make a living.
But those aren’t the projects I get excited about. Anyone who knows me knows that the best ten days of my year are spent in a bright, puffy vest, standing in the cold for hours on end, with 1,500 other crazy people who think using vacation days to volunteer at the Sundance Film Festival is the epitome of an epic vacation. Outside of those ten days, I help make the dreams of those filmmakers become a reality so that they can enter into those film festivals, so that those heart-wrenching personal stories, thought-provoking dramas, and disturbingly true documentaries can make it out into the world.
With the ubiquity of technology, media (film and television included) is helping to change the way interact with our surroundings, from documentaries about GMOs and the suppression of free speech in countries such as Russia, to animated shorts that can show the benefits of selflessness and the consequences of broken promises. When the world is preaching at you so loud and so often, sometimes it takes something special to break through, something much more subtle and delicate and palatable, and often that something comes in the guise of entertainment.
If I had listened to the professors, the music teachers, the friends who (often not-so-subtly) suggested that perhaps I could make more money, make more of a difference, be happier doing something else, I wouldn’t have followed my passion. In the months after graduation, when I couldn’t find a job in my field and money was tight, the deprecating words of my classmates and professors came back to haunt my depressed thoughts. In the moments of wondering whether struggling through a life of feeling worthless and being a financial burden to my parents and boyfriend was better than just taking myself and my troubles out of the equation, the negativity I had experienced from others in regards to my dreams made me feel as if my life had ended at twenty-one because I had made a poor choice at eighteen regarding my career. I doubt they realized it at the time, but the opinions of those I had worked closely with for years stuck with me for much longer than a single class period, and the effects went far beyond the implications they expected their throwaway words to have in the few seconds it took to utter them.
Luckily, I’m stubborn enough to do what I want in the way that I want, and to have an inner voice that would start panicking or throw up warning signs any time I contemplated giving into the pressure to do something more tangible. And then I was intelligent enough to move away, physically and emotionally, from the people who wanted to extinguish my dream rather than nourish it, and become closer with those who supported the vision I had for my creativity and my life’s work.
There’s another quote from Hiddleston that fits well here:
“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.”
It took months, enough tears to dehydate a camel, and emotional and financial sacrifice, but I followed my dream and ended up in a job (with benefits! Those mythical beings that few people my age have ever encountered!) that not only brings me happiness, but allows me to do the same for others who are following their passions as well. In a search for real, live employment I was able to further entrench myself in the film community through again volunteering at Sundance, an opportunity that led to having a number of friends in LA before I even moved in, as well as being the resident film festival expert at my job (they even let me go to film festivals as work. I cannot convey what an amazing opportunity this is for someone like me). And I even used the time to take advantage of an internship at NPR headquarters in DC, which, no matter what industry you work in, is just freakin’ cool (especially when you get to be the contestant for the dress rehearsal of a new quiz show, win said show, and meet geek music icon Jonathan Coulton in the process.)
I haven’t kept up with most of my classmates – I fell out of contact during the deepest stages of my depression, as I was too ashamed to share any part of my life with these people who had seemed to have it all together when I was falling apart. I’m not sure if any of them are doing what they set out to do: followed their dreams to become junior political staffers, teaching screeching parasites small children, or traveling the world to bring Tom’s shoes to every barefoot child in need (that’s not a dig – it was a huge movement at Belmont). But if any of them have been half as successful as I have been in starting the journey towards their ultimate goals, then congratulations – there are a lot of factors out there keeping you from fulfilling those passions, and keeping your eye on the end result can be difficult when the harsh factors of life constantly strive to pull you away from achieving anything more than the immediate gratification of being able to pay rent each month.
To close out this long, rambling post, I’ll include one more quote, as I like things that come in threes and also the chance to use the word trifecta:
“Haters never win. I just think that’s true about life, because negative energy always costs in the end … Never stop. Never stop fighting. Never stop dreaming.”
– Tom Hiddleston
#NoFilter 